Annette's Fortune Cookies

If I was a person who wrote those things that go on the inside of fortune cookies, here are some of Annette's Words of Wisdom:

New messages = more work.

Rattling noise on car is never good.

If one depends on children to feed pets, pets will die.

That person staring at you is not doing so, because you are hot. You have something on your shirt.

Rain = bad hair day.

Wind = bad hair day.

Driving in car with windows down = bad hair day.

Driving in car with windows up = good hair, bad hot flashes.

The stench of road kill skunk can go on for miles.

The stench of road kill skunk will not be stopped by rolling up the car windows.

A cookie under the bed will grow weird fuzzy green stuff.

A cat with a dead mouse is a helper.

A cat with a dead chipmunk is a homicidal feline.

Oh, well, that's all I can think of for today. Think these will go into cookies?