Tis the Season to Be Weird
Well, it's that time of the year, again. The holidays are upon us, and everyone is driving like a lunatic. I'm seeing accidents almost daily. Fortunately, none have appeared to have been fatal, but still.......please, people pay attention.
Now that I've done my little "soapbox pre-blog speech", I'd like to spend a few moments complaining about some of the odd, sometimes rude people I've run into at grocery and department stores. Perhaps you know them, too:
"MISS MY BUTT IS THE SIZE OF TEXAS, BUT I'M NOT MOVING OVER ONE INCH FOR YOU TO GET BY"
Ok, I know she has a large rear. She knows it, too. However, it IS her rear, so I'm cool with it. Anyway, we are not all the same shape or size, and so on....
My problem with the "Butt Lady" is that she will stop in whatever aisle she chooses, whether it be to stare doe-eyed at a product, or to chat with her pals, then she WILL NOT MOVE OVER!!! I'm not talking about the stores with the teeny, weeny aisles; I'm talking about a REGULAR store, with WIDE aisles! Now what gives here? I mean, I say "Excuse me", sometimes more than once, but "Big Butt" ignores me, like some bully on a 2nd grade playground! Is that her way of punishing me for not being a size 18W, also? I dunno, but eventually I manage to get by, usually after a gentle nudge with my cart into her caboose.
The opposite person is "THE I'M NOT IN JAIL, BUT I'M GOING TO RAM MY CART SO FAR UP YOUR REAR END, YOU'LL BE SPITTING OUT STAPLES"
This person will get you while you are trapped in some slow moving check-out line. You have the person with a million groceries piled in the cart in front of you, and the "butt poker" in the back, thinking that if they ram that cart into you hard enough, the line will actually move faster. Usually, that person is in some kind of zone, because when I turn back to give them the "look", the head is always turned the other way, like an ostrich on weed.
So....If you're going to poke at my butt the whole time I'm in line, are you gonna take me to dinner afterwards?
Lastly, and I experienced this the past evening is the "MR. I AM TALL AND HEAVY AND I WILL INVADE YOUR PERSONAL SPACE"
I was standing in line at the grocery store, talking to my FAVORITE cashier (You know who you are, girl!!! ;O), when this really tall, robust man gets in my "personal space" , and just hovers like some deranged psycho!!! I'm looking to see if I know who this is, and have no clue, of course, yet he stands there eyeballing me and the cashiers like he's going to club us over our heads and take us to his smelly cave. E-yew!!!!!!! Creepy!!! Anyhoo, I scooted over, and removed myself rather rapidly, but can't help but wonder if he even knows the concept of personal space. There are just some distances you don't cross, especially with a stressed out woman in the grocery store!!
So my points are this:
1. If you have a big butt, move the frick out of the way, when people are trying to get by!!!!
2. Don't shove your cart into someone's back end, unless you're wanting to start a relationship of some sort.
3. Back off, Godzilla!!! You're freaking me out!!!!
Happy shopping and be careful!!!!!
Now that I've done my little "soapbox pre-blog speech", I'd like to spend a few moments complaining about some of the odd, sometimes rude people I've run into at grocery and department stores. Perhaps you know them, too:
"MISS MY BUTT IS THE SIZE OF TEXAS, BUT I'M NOT MOVING OVER ONE INCH FOR YOU TO GET BY"
Ok, I know she has a large rear. She knows it, too. However, it IS her rear, so I'm cool with it. Anyway, we are not all the same shape or size, and so on....
My problem with the "Butt Lady" is that she will stop in whatever aisle she chooses, whether it be to stare doe-eyed at a product, or to chat with her pals, then she WILL NOT MOVE OVER!!! I'm not talking about the stores with the teeny, weeny aisles; I'm talking about a REGULAR store, with WIDE aisles! Now what gives here? I mean, I say "Excuse me", sometimes more than once, but "Big Butt" ignores me, like some bully on a 2nd grade playground! Is that her way of punishing me for not being a size 18W, also? I dunno, but eventually I manage to get by, usually after a gentle nudge with my cart into her caboose.
The opposite person is "THE I'M NOT IN JAIL, BUT I'M GOING TO RAM MY CART SO FAR UP YOUR REAR END, YOU'LL BE SPITTING OUT STAPLES"
This person will get you while you are trapped in some slow moving check-out line. You have the person with a million groceries piled in the cart in front of you, and the "butt poker" in the back, thinking that if they ram that cart into you hard enough, the line will actually move faster. Usually, that person is in some kind of zone, because when I turn back to give them the "look", the head is always turned the other way, like an ostrich on weed.
So....If you're going to poke at my butt the whole time I'm in line, are you gonna take me to dinner afterwards?
Lastly, and I experienced this the past evening is the "MR. I AM TALL AND HEAVY AND I WILL INVADE YOUR PERSONAL SPACE"
I was standing in line at the grocery store, talking to my FAVORITE cashier (You know who you are, girl!!! ;O), when this really tall, robust man gets in my "personal space" , and just hovers like some deranged psycho!!! I'm looking to see if I know who this is, and have no clue, of course, yet he stands there eyeballing me and the cashiers like he's going to club us over our heads and take us to his smelly cave. E-yew!!!!!!! Creepy!!! Anyhoo, I scooted over, and removed myself rather rapidly, but can't help but wonder if he even knows the concept of personal space. There are just some distances you don't cross, especially with a stressed out woman in the grocery store!!
So my points are this:
1. If you have a big butt, move the frick out of the way, when people are trying to get by!!!!
2. Don't shove your cart into someone's back end, unless you're wanting to start a relationship of some sort.
3. Back off, Godzilla!!! You're freaking me out!!!!
Happy shopping and be careful!!!!!
posted by DiaGirlNC at 8:15 AM
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